Be kind to yourself! The evidence is in…It does work!
As a therapist one of the most common problems my clients admit is the habit of talking to themselves in a mean voice. Maybe you know this one. We have a running dialogue with ourselves all the time. Our internal voice can criticize, predict negative outcomes and point out all your failures. It’s the voice that says “Um…you shouldn’t have said that …everyone is staring…what’s wrong with you…LOSER!”
However, this habit is never the symptom that brings someone to therapy. I must ask directly…What’s your internal voice say to you? Is it kind? Helpful? Encouraging? Or mean and critical?
Sometimes being a meditation mentor really sucks. Everyone expects you to be all “Zen” all the time. You’re supposed to be kind, peaceful and patient. But**@* it!!! I don’t feel like this all the time and I just want you to know. I get envious, really envious… and sometimes I’m irritable. No Zen there.
Having “the TALK”…
“I’m really going to work hard at meditation this week, Robin” (ugh, have I taught you nothing!!!!)
This is how my Meditation Mentoring session went this week with a lovely and dedicated student. I appreciated the commitment and enthusiasm of this student and really had to be gentle when his simple proclamation made me bristle a bit. Why was I twitchy about this comment you ask? (Plus you are probably thinking with all the meditation she does should she be getting bugged? I’ll have to address this in a future post. It’s a good question.)
Number One reason for not meditating… I can’t stop thinking!
I can’t stop thinking! This is what I’m told when I recommend meditation to my stressed out, anxious and depressed clients.
It’s the number one reason people tell me they can’t meditate. It’s such a frustration for them. “AUGH!!! I’ve tried, but my brain won’t stop!” It’s at this point that they have already given up. Their brains are always on, thinking on 4 or 5 or 10 levels at the same time and they are feeling hopeless and that nothing will stop this constant onslaught of thoughts. They’ve resigned themselves to sleepless nights, headaches, panic, anxiety, over eating, drinking too much, creating more distress and feeling exhausted. WHEW!
Does this sound familiar to you? Really, I am not surprised.
I can’t meditate because my mind won’t stop thinking…
As a meditation mentor this is one statement I hear over and over. It’s where most students will decide that meditation cannot work for them. This is a statement created by the mind to trick you into not learning how to tame it! It is not based on any reality or experience. Just because you think something doesn’t make it true! Our brains give us a lot of bad information. Our issue is, of course, that we tend to believe everything we think. BIG MISTAKE!! Don’t fall for this trap. Learning to meditate is a skill everyone can learn. It’s not rocket science, but it does take practice. You can do this.
So please before you dismiss this wonderful practice read on and see if I can’t convince you to give mediation a second chance.
Let’s take a look.